i am finding my mind empty; i'll be searching for something - a password or a thing that i had made a mental note of to absolutely remember ("sarah, remember this thing and tell it to this person, do it, remember this") and it will not be there. the more i try to remember it, the farther away it slips as if it knows i am looking for it and doesn't want to be found. the moment i think "i'm not going to be able to remember it" then it's over, it's gone. and then i have to concentrate on something else and see if it comes back.
i think it's due to the lack of sleep i've been getting, and also due to the increase in booze i've been indulging in. i have said yes to every offer of drinks. hungover at a baby shower? have a mimosa, yes please. and the sleeping is ending around 5-6am, so i lose an hour at that end and also have been losing hours on the first end due to the aforementioned boozing.
made a friend with a tiny grey feline. stood and talked for a bit. i wonder what people think when they drive by and see a girl with three grocery bags, standing on her tiptoes scratching the head of a cat on a fence.
ok bye!
stella the cat and i enjoy a moment.
one last moment with my forehead before i permanently (for now) covered it with bits of hair.
i had a few moments of regret but honestly what the hell my forehead was starting to look big and it's fall so that means humidity is lowering and forehead sweat is less of an issue and also it all grows so what's the big deal.
and then i was affirmed by this bang-ed goddess:
she has always been bangspiration but this time she was bangfirmation. hers are a little longer and more copious on one side. thank you feist, and congratulations. your record is fantastic and mystical; so fantastic that i put it on (on vinyl) and lay with my head between the speakers in the sweet spot, an activity that is usually reserved for shakey. that means you deserve all and any awards, even if someone else could probably use the money more.
lunchtime walking, taking my new forehead accessory out for a walk. AH. WIND. i forgot about you. my new nemesis.
oh a front yard full of yellow daisies speckled in sunlight and gently blowing in the breeze?
don't mind if i do. me and nature, together, forever. i am getting VERY EXCITED for cottage thanksgiving times. i'm going to roll around in the leaves and smell them and put them in my hair and collect them and wrap them in saran wrap and keep them in my purse for when i need a fix. (i already have that but they are old and crumbling and probably don't have that fall scent left). i think i have the tuesday off too. yes, i do i just checked. simchat torah. sure!
the seasons changing always fills me with swelling emotion, up and down-the sun is shining and everything is beautiful and glistening, then the feeling of loss and hopelessness creeps in and you have to fight it with a baked apple and a family dinner. i promise not so many photos of self next time. there isn't too much going on, but i'm always around me, so yeah.
