same old blues comin round again

yesterday i worked, went home, got some bad news on the cat (more on that in a sec), went to my mom's to pick up some stuff-including a new park blanket i bought at my cottage, and went to the park to enjoy dog hangs (and the new blanket).




hi pink tongue!



so, i don't even really want to talk about this because i'm so sad about it. basically stella has kidney disease-the stones (or something undetermined) has/have reduced her kidney function to the point where she has twice as much toxins in her blood than she should. because of this, she will require IVs of subcutaneous fluid every second day for the rest of her life, until she needs them more often, and then until they no longer help.



we are learning how to do it on monday, getting the supplies and hoping that it stops the deterioration of kidney function and keeps her toxicity levels in check so that she can feel good at the very least.



i am absolutely heartbroken that her life will come to this, and that we will lose her sooner than expected. they can't say how long she has, they will only know when they do tests again in a few months. she is so tiny and delicate i hate the idea of having to chase her down to poke her with needles.



for now i am taking every opportunity to have quiet time with her before we start the treatment. i feel sick about it. it's hard to enjoy this weather/your friends/the holiday when your heart feels so heavy.